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U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. They were always fighting, unhappy. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! All rights reserved. Accept That You Will Never Be First. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? And remember, folks who don't want kids don't want kids. Support yourself. If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. Maybe he doesn't like being used. He is a grown up. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. This is reason why i always advice Ladies that they need to STOP creating soul ties by sexing guys Sex isnt better than love its about time you Let the men know in upfront that you are not having sex before marriage. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. Does the father know? Does he still love me? "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. "We are. As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. He wasn't meant for marriage, he was a party guy, a free bird, and only got married because he was afraid I'd sue him for child support later. I wasn't happy. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. It was very stressful. Long story short my ex dumped me. Good one boys real mature!! think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. 'I regret having children' In pushing the boundaries of accepted maternal response, women are challenging an explosive tabooand reframing motherhood in the process By Anne Kingston At first. I don't know if this is pregnancy hormones (I am only 5 weeks) or if I really feel this way. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. If you break up right away, she can take the kid and you may miss a lot of the firsts w/them growing up. Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross. You CAN NOT let someone have the upper hand on you. You moved into his house, you let him buy you a car and you quit your job because he was financial there. NO PHYSICAL THINGS. And 3 children. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. I tried to make myself love him. No one can tell you what to do, we all have different stories. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. After a little while, if you still feel the same (i.e. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. But we started fighting more and more. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. They hurt the most. My greatest concern is the child. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? I want to come home from work to my son EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, but I can't if me and the mother aren't together. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. The ex and i still argue sometimes but you have to learn when to shut up. Don't marry someone you don't love. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. Create an account or log in to participate. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. We made it to 8yrs. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. I really don't want to mess this child's life up. I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. But I want to be a father. Get a job and find a place to live. Some of us got promoted while pregnant or found new jobs, it is not impossible. Only knowing that you don't feel good with your current situation won't make any change unless you do. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. I was By entering this site you declare She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. Op: get a job and support yourself. I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. most times the child bears all the burnt of this relationship as the child would be looked upon as some sort of curse to both parties life the father will hate the child instead of loving it and the mother will eventual resent her child. I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. It is normal to want to lay your head on your mother's breast and feel the security and warmth of her love and compassion. Be strong. If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. I pretended to be. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . You're an adult. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. His family is great also. Sooner or later it'll be over. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. I used to . . 37 weeks today. On the other hand, if you do not love her but only want the child, it is also very selfish of you. You will need to end an unwanted relationship. Either stay or get off the pot but be careful how you play this. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. This is nuts. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. There is very little physical attraction. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. It wasn't working out before she got pregnant and now it's 100x worse because of her hormones. First, she's too far along. I'm sorry this is long but I have no one else. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. but she didn't have her baby . Thanks again JP. Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can I do please? . Amazed how women can be on these forums. He shdnt forget the welfare of the child involved. no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. YOU'LL BE STABLE. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other. If you don't, pursuing. I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? Only good thing that came out of it are my children. Add to Collection. For more information, please see our It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. Good luck. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. I got pregnant in September of 2011. We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. Might not happen overnight but think of where you want to see yourself in a year. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. Create an account or log in to participate. My current girlfirend got pregnant while on the mini pill. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Having a baby is a life-changing experience and many want to ensure they do it at a time that is right for them. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. He and my parents think that we are in love, but I have been keeping my true feelings to myself for 6 months: I don't love him. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. She is 6 months pregnant now. Noooo you have to marry and then spend the rest of your lives in hell with someone you slept with? You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. I need advice too. She bullied me into a wedding & now I am miserable. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. We tried to make it work. Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. I must contain all this and somehow manage it thus minimizing any possible damage. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. Has it ever gotten better. Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. NOW THE CHILD IS BORN. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. When I did he the. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! It's why your lady friend just said those two possibly thrilling, possibly terrifying words: "I'm pregnant." So what do you say when the woman you. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. Know theways to move on after a bad relationship to help you to get better. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! You should do what will make you happy. Perhaps you never talked about having a baby with your partner, or maybe you vaguely mentioned wanting kids "someday." You might've even agreed to try getting pregnant at 25 (or 30 or. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. Men don't have a biological clock in the same sense as women. I don't know what to do. Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything Sorry I must've misread. I don't have any memories of them not fighting. or you will be 35 and wondering where your life went and if you'll ever be happy. I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. SCENARIO 2: STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE. When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Nothing from the start. We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else.